Cant help but sometimes reli feel xianz with what is all currently going on in life. The water situation is still the same and it makes dousing laundry and taking a shower so hard a chore... i'm like returning to those olden times where i have to do the laundry manually and having to boil water for my baths. zzzz.... so traditional rite? lol.... i dun seem to have a choice when i'm now living in the slumps.

Hang in there, i oways tell myself that at the end of every dark tunnel there will b light. and when there is light, there will bound to be a way out. so, i guess there seem to b a glimpse of light now somewhere, i juz need to perservere and walk straight.... juz hope that i wont stumble again along the way and most importantly, not to choose the wrong path in this dark tunnel again.

zzz..... feel tired but cant slp... i start to imagine things again. dunno y all dis fearful images kip coming to me whenever i close my eyes. i cant reli described these images but i hhavr drawn them in my little black book.... it makes me feel better whenever i draw. i vent them all out during my little drawing sessions. ppl dun seem to understand my fear, not even my physchaitrist... maybe tt was de main reason i walked out on her 2yrs ago.

physically and mentally i feel so drained. i tot of having a lil break. as in work a lil less this year and slack a lil. but i figure, relying on others for money is not easy either. haizzzz..... have to see their moods in order to get cash, i think beggars or even prostitudes get a better pay den i do.

shynna is going crazy. i get cranky for no reason, cant sleep at nite, no appetite to eat. therefore now as a living zombie, i eat on a 3days a meal basis... eat to live, in order not to pass out. work as usual in order to make my days worth while. slp only when i reli cant take it anymore. probably the insercurities in this slump kips me awake all the time. ~~ argh ~~ shynna kenot take it anymore... need to go back n get myself some velium... lol... prozac sucks... cos they make me fat. velium is better at least it makes me not feel like eating and makes me wana slp all de time but that is fine. sleep is better den fat...... ^^

haiz... think im going back to watch anime online. after 3 more episodes and i shall hit the quaters. its a muffin making day later on. recipe n ingredients are redy, for now, im going to build de mood to go make it. ~yeah~

=^_^=


Surrealistic Shynna