I have not been feeling myself for this pass few days. Sometimes i reli wonder do i reli love him at all. or after all dis years we juz being together we are just used to each others' pressence? sitting here on this traquil morning, i have so many things on my mind. i just not knw the right words to write them out.
I keep on asking myself, is it really worth de effort of waiting for him to change his ways? or, am i juz plan dumb to act that nothing was happening and all is fine. I cant gif a definate answer to anyone including myself. Ppl oways tell me that there are better choices out there, i'm young n dynamic, i can oways get a better creature. Y kip a useless creature wit me? When i myself am rather, in a sense rather certain that i hav another creature in my mind.. (LOL... i still not tell who is this new creature cos i dun wana land myself in a predicament.)
Well, i as i sit here all alone, I am reminded of those times when i lost it. Those times when i sit all alone n cut myself up with a razor. Izit worth de pain? At least, to me, the pain feels much better than de agony in my heart.
Nevertheless, I was browsing thru my frenster juz now. My fingers got itchy n i decide to type in the name RACINE, tick de country Malaysia. and..... BINGO, there it is!!!!!!!!!! OMG... the 4th user!!!! so i clicked on her profile n mail her how i feel abt the whole scenario. Am i childish? well, its only a 2D game. What i'm upset is not cos they r a couple in a game, but i am upset abt de cash items being bought for her. My family is not well to do and all those cash can mean alot to help with my hsehold. School fees for my daughter, food, transport.... I hope ppl understand that i am not petty over them being couple in the game but the fact that there was real money involve in this whole thing. RACINE, if u so happen to see this blog, i dun hate you. i juz feel sad that he actually spends money on you then on my daughter and me. and my feelings are being hurt by this whole scenario. IF you do happen to login, I'm Shynna80. we can still be frens. and i understand that you are jus a 18yr old small gal who is still studying.
I wish u all de best in ya studies RACINE, dun get decepted by this 30yrs old uncle anymore. Dun take frm him anymore cash items. Thanks so much.
TACHI22 n SHYNNA80