wowie ~ never expect that my Saturday (23/01/2010) was so exciting. Well well, i spent the night out on a Friday and I arrived home promptly in the early hours of the afternoon. Took a short nap and manage to O.B.E .. hmm~ exciting ... told Jeff abt my exp .. n he said that i love to dream too much ... ~chey~

I tot that my jam that day was due to be canceled as the dummy KB M.I.A, din reply smses.. but fortunately, things went on as planned. Fiz (drummer) called me and suggested that we should proceed with the jam. So i met Fiz and Lily (bassist) for the 1st time. The experience playing with them is good and final decision - they are in!! which means most of my wkends will be be occupied with music and wk nites will be more focus on Youtube-ing ..

After the session ended, Jeff and I went for a cock session over a few drinks, as usual la, drink talk nonsense.. and then I mention to him some of the issues i have been facing recently. Sometimes, there is so much corruption in the human mind that most times, ppl do not knw what they are doing.

I reached home in the wee hours of the morning. Decided that the drinks are not enough for me, i went to 7-11 to get more servings of the boosts. I sat at the void deck, trying to piece out a missing part of a puzzle and finally i came to a conclusion.

Things, many many things, they happened for a reason. And, usually there is a process that one needs to go thru in order to grow, learn and eventually excel. So far, I have given up certain things cos i wana gain other things. And this slow and painful process sometimes makes me more emo than usual..

1) Move on, dun ever think of Daniel any more.
2) Think carefully before making choices.
3) Never trust anyone u meet randomly.
4) Never give in to persuasion once u have a gut feeling that something is wrong
5) Always put jamming as NUMBER 1 no matter what happens (of cos Darling Nicole is still #1)

I called up a friend after i thought of all these. Spoken to him on some dumb thingy issue. Then we both come to an understanding that "MOST MEN THINK WITH THEIR COCKS."

Lols... yeah, traveling here n there, meeting up so many kuku ppl, i see alot of cocksters, losers, chee ko peks.... i still remembered when i was 16, i dated Tony .. he was then 31 and married. but i din care, cos the mutual understanding of not hurting each others' feelings is there. Years later, i met Peter. Also married with kids. Did i ever care? NO! cos, these ppl are honest enough to tell me that they think with their COCKS!!!

1) They tell me that abt their marital status cos they dun wana hurt my feelings.
2) They wan a discreet relationship cos they feel lonely at times.
3) They buy me things, pamper me, go for movies n meals with me.
4) I'm ok with it cos, I am liberal and feels that all humans have feelings and its always a gd choice if its a "2 way" thingy.

At least they are not those bang n go cases where the men show no respect to the female at all. Using them as sex objects.

Now in this era, i don't think what is there to hide. Honestly .. if ppl are to juz be so fickle minded, just like Charles .. i think there are a lot of suicide cases in SG and as u look in the papers, the victims are getting younger cos their feelings are being hurt.

And also i would like to salute those whom i met recently and are honest to tell me abt their physical needs. But, i have to reject u, cos i dun believe in "planned sex".. if it happens naturally then so be it.. and the point is, its one way or the other. Get to your point. Dun dilly and dally and make the other party feel like am mixed up fruit cocktail. STATE UR FUCKING POINT.

Anyway ... all i can say is i had a fulfilling wkend.. and .. perhaps will be getting more busy cos more projects are coming up.. wooo HOOOooo~~ so looking forward..
apart from that.. i just wish that ppl will appreciate me more.. cos .. i am not a SEX OBJECT @!!!!

~=+Shynna-liciously mixed up fruit cocktail+=~


Surrealistic Shynna





AAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh!!! My laptop died on me again. so recently cant reli update new entries .. and i am writing this EARLY in the morning in OFFICE!!!!!

Things happen all the time. and somehow i am beginning to enjoy the simplicity i am having now. So SO SOOOOooo many yrs i have been a drama mama, drama queen of all times. Having to go through roller coaster rides after roller coaster rides ... ~~~~~~~~~ now that things are slowly taking shape, my band searching beginning to take form, I dun wish for any other distractions.

Sometimes, certain things just have to remain a lil grey. Most times, i cant be bothered explaining when ppl dun understand me.

Why?

cos.. there are too many a times i am left alone in a grey situation to sort out my own thoughts. So, i guess, its time i let others taste back the same feeling ... - being left to think of their own actions.

1) Why begin something you can't end?
2) Why say certain things you don't mean?
3) Why ask for an explanation when you cant even come up with a reasonable excuse yourself?

Yeah.. i think too much at times. i gotten to fucked up by my divorce with Daniel and my break up with Charles and ... perhaps I am locking myself up in a way or other.

Daniel - a guy whom i got married to for 10rs ..
Charles - a guy whom i fallen so madly in love with ..

Not forgetting ... Ah how ... someone whom is always there for me .. but we can never move on to a higher level.. can only remain as friends forever ... And also he is someone whom i really appreciate and cherish for the whole of my life. No one can be as sincere as him as to not to hurt me and not to breech my trust .. someone who carries no bad intentions on me, be it physically or emotionally.

Argh !~~
Weak ... i feel weak. I'm oways afraid of the appearing creature. (for ppl whom have been following my blogs will knw wat does creature means)...
Am always afraid of landing in a predicament when the creature appears.. And of cos i am in a state of a SHYNNARICAL CONFUSION ... cos ....

1) i dunno what he wants from me
2) i dunno if he will hurt me ... be it physically or emotionally ... (at least tell me what he wants.. a fling? a committed or non-committed R/S???!!!!! )
3) i dunno if i should trust him

therefore .. when he asked me for an explanation for the dumb sms ... i got no ANSWER!!!

+sigh+

Perhaps ... certain things are better left unexplained .. .

~=+Shynna is in a shynnarical state of CONFUSION!!!!!+=~


Surrealistic Shynna





2010!!
cant believe that i am actually home and blogging at this hour. i still rmb that last yr.. i was with him, hand in hand and enjoying our steamboat new yr dinner and now i am all alone at home ... ~ suffering.. ~

i tried asking ppl out. feel like going for a movie. but nobody is free. i even tried calling ah how a few times but ... argh!! he M.I.A on me again ... sometimes i reli wonder what happened to my glam. damn~

used to be having so many progs and parties to attend. after he left, life for me has been in solitude. i try going out to meet new ppl, but ... these ppl seemingly are juz out for nothing but a gd F***K... argh~ wad happen to all the good ppl?

2012 is coming, and more and more corruption is begining to surface. i can see that frm all these recent events, there are more n more evil rising.

i am so bored to the core that i went to youtube and found some vids on The Lost Book Of Nostradamus. He is a prophet born in southern France. And he had made predictions of the atom bomb, the rise of hitler, 911 attack and even the tsunami and hurrican katrina.

and then ... now i chance upon this link below while i was googling more on nostradamus. http://www.ufodigest.com/news/1209/2010.php

its about 2010, WW3 begins in november and blah blah blah.
the strange thing is i had a dream of him returning to me. in my dream he came back to me, telling me that the war was horrible... and now, damn, i saw this link!! WAR in 2010??

is this a coincidence or isit that all my dreams that i have will come true after sometime? i am reli confused. my dreams and visions. somtimes most of them scare me cos a majority of them serve as signs to me. as some of them will come true... most ppl think that dreams are opposite of real life but for me its totally a diff case.








Surrealistic Shynna