8/28/2008 05:51:00 pm | Thursday, 28 August 2008
~=+ 十二莲花 +=~
第一可怜罗莲花 出生风场昧快活
凄惨落泊就是我 做牛做马也得拖
第二可怜莲花酸 苦命莲花心头酸
后母不为仔打算 想要嫁人也久长
可怜呀莲花呀 实在可怜代
第三可怜莲花姐 坏命做工到半暝
头烧目晕那是病 破病也得去赚钱
第四可怜莲花代 好坏人客阮招待
十分招待嫌阮坏 要打要骂又要塞
可怜呀莲花呀 实在可怜代
第五可怜莲花种 有人实在无同情
也无外多钱阮用 要打要骂又要种
第六可怜莲花城 流落欢场歹名声
后母爱钱无爱仔 迫到阮呀无路行
可怜呀莲花呀 实在可怜代
第七可怜莲花红 阮是可怜歹命人
后母当阮不是人 害阮痛苦一世人
第八可怜莲花头 流落欢场昧出头
后母顾前无顾后 害阮暝日目屎流
可怜呀莲花呀 实在可怜代
第九可怜莲花时 做了这行已几年
可怜家人无相见 阮嘛不知企叨位
第十可怜莲花光 归暝做工到天光
想到有厝唔汤返 终身再也难见光
可怜呀莲花呀 实在可怜代
十一可怜莲花怨 想到身世真哀怨
后母迫我做这款 越想心内越超烦
十二莲花无了时 堕落黑暗难见天
少年赚钱是一时 老来怎样过日子
可怜呀莲花呀 实在可怜代
8/27/2008 04:10:00 pm | Wednesday, 27 August 2008
~=+ Eating Disorder +=~
Anorixia nervosa, Bullimia nervosa.. over eating.. purging.. binge.. not eating.. these are disorders which can kill... eats you up slowly from the inside.. it becomes a cycle. a never ending cycle..
and this is what you will become in the long run..
<----- nothing but a heap of bones...
although many ppl knw the consequences of this disorder, but many a times, they will still resort to it to loose the extra amount of weight.. 
Most of the time, the victim does not knw that she has already gone below a healthy weight, she often sees herself in the mirror as someone who is too fat..
but in actual fact, she is skinny to the bones.
most ppl purge, so call force themselves to throw up..
till it becomes a cycle. they tend to eat alot of greens and most times drink alot of coffee and smoke alot..
begining to sound more n more like the symptoms that i am having.. i dun even remember when was the last time i had a proper meal..
i cant eat.. i force myself to do so but oways end up in a vomiting frenzy..
I DID NOT FORCE MYSELF TO VOMIT..
I VOMIT cos I FEEL VERY SICK INSIDE.....
maybe i am reli sick inside... sick in the head perhaps.. 
well...
i did suffer from something like that before which was 10yrs ago... i puke all the time.. slowly i recovered from it..
now its like a relaspe..
last time when i puke i feel scared that i might die... but now when i puke.... inside... i feel great having to puke out everything... OMG...
shynna is reli mad....
hmm~
i ask myself what is the reason that i cant eat, i dunno... i juz feel better when i dun...
what is de reason i cant slp... maybe i juz hate facing a a new day... i ask myself again.. izit cos i miss him so much..... i cant seem to be able to answer that qns myself... geezzzzzz.....
how long can my body endure this kinda vomiting episodes?
how long can my mind take all these emptiness??
perhaps after i become a heap of bones then it will be enuf..
perhaps if someone comes along and is willing to take care of me all over again then will be enuf...
perhaps i need another creature n not long for that creature whom has flown away...
perhaps... perhaps...
anorexic or bullimic... i have it anyway.. i dun care if it kills me... i dun care if it eats me up inside.... its oways better than having the darkness to swallow me up ... i let this sickness take over my body ...
~=+ SHYNNA HAS EATING DISORDER +=~
8/24/2008 05:17:00 pm | Sunday, 24 August 2008
~=+ Sometimes I Really Need Someone +=~
Look into my eyes... Tell me what you see?Listen to my heart... Tell me what you hear?
Is this the way u look at me? Is this the way u see me as?
Can anyone tell me what is wrong with me? Can anyone feel me?
The emptiness and sorrow.. this darkness that swallows me.. 
I shout at the top of my lungs... each time to hear myself shouting back at me ... that same old familiar voice that shouts and shouts ... to be welcome back by the echoes of nothingness.
~=+HELP+=~
Can anyone hear me?
Can anyone save me?
Does anyone know the dejection of this cruel and realistic world?
I still remember that day when he held me in his arms.. that very day he told me that he cant live without me.. it seems like its only yesterday..
I never seem to have forget every details.. those words that ring in my head .. OVER AND OVER AGAIN...
That creature that once flew into my life.. stole my heart away..
But have to end it by destroying my every dream over in a single nite..
I wana forget.. but how can i ever do that?
That creature that once loved me so deep ... that creature that cause me to have this ever going dream night after night..
He may never ever come back anymore..
This dream.. this hope.. has turn into a living nightmare and embodied itself into my soul...
He told me that he does not like me to be emo.. but he is also the source for me to feel emo all the time.
He wants me to stay positive.. yet he is the one who made me into a negative idiot.
He wants me to stand up tall, walk up high, yet he is STILL the one whom push me into the open seas to drown....
Izit his fault or mine? - maybe nobody's ...
He juz need to think over his actions.. why did he pull me out of my shell, left me in the open and let me painfully... slowly... be eaten up by this cruelty?
This ever so wonderful creature.. will there be anyone like him that will find back my heart for me ?
Or will i be left like this? always having to look into the mirror and tell myself that i am looking back into this world with loveless EYES??
8/21/2008 11:25:00 pm | Thursday, 21 August 2008
~=+ Life So Busy +=~
kenot believe that i so SO SO SO SO busy n tired that i did not blog for so SO DARN FUCKING LONG....
Its my 3rd week with success and i some how begin to feel the tension n arrows of politics liao... haix... something which i hate so much but frm now on got to face and play wise.... T_T
sibei sad~~
nevertheless, i still manage to go out to drink... ~=+YIPPIE+=~ ^^
<---------- SEEEEEEE
FAT SHYNNA N HER MARTEL!!!
WootSsss~~
juz like good old times of drinking once a wk at a pub after a hard wk of work!! lalalala~~
sing k....
drink martel.... den go home slumber....
yeah man... dis is life of singlehood and open book r/s
no worries no hassle. ^^
but hor, in dis pic, i look so haggard n tired... of cos la... like shit.. morning go office face office politics and den nite time still need to teach pesty kids tuition... no choice la... ppl dun wana treat me like princess and pamper me... i pamper myself with MARTEL~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Er... i oso got some fucking old pics frm 3wks ago i wana share.... dis angela lo... took her own sweet time to send them to me .... duhzzzzzzz....
Aye!! Shynna act again lo... kanasai !!
LOL... went to shop for sunglasses 3 LONG WEEKS AGO!!!!
<----- si bei act act la....
try to be dunno like wat shit... try try try and try..
but cant seem to find de correct pair..
Ok ... Me ... showing de trade mark 7 sign again lo..
chosen a darn kuku pattern specs ...
yet din buy ...
hahahahaha cant seem to make up my mind at all lo...
End up... i all oso din buy ... lol
TMR IS FRIDAY.... ~=+YIPPIE+=~
I CAN GO OUT TO DRINK AGAIN....
~=+SHYNNA IS NORMAL AGAIN+=~
8/10/2008 02:06:00 am | Sunday, 10 August 2008
~=+ Tribute to Jammers +=~
Wow~ ... 2am.. sit here write blog after a shag week. after of 5days str8 of wrking in an office n nite teaching .. reli makes me so shag out. but nevertheless, i still will update my blogs. This is the only place where i pen down my thoughts and feel.
While i was travelling in the bus earlier today, something pop into my mind. I realise that i do miss my dad. the thought of him reminds me of those days where i used to sit at hiw wrk place n watch him and his band members jam on stage. YESH~ my daddy is a multi-talented musician who plays the guitar, bass, keyboard and also the drums.
Hmm~ for like more than 20yrs in his life, my dad earns a living thru performing gigs and jamming. the music he used to play includes Deep Purple, Metallica and even Kiss. As age caught up on him, he moved on to playing hokkien songs and chinese pop. i still rmb during the late 80s n early 90s, he used to play for the band call "HongKong Stars" (was a famous band at tt time for Canto Pub) and den he moved on to "Typhoon".
i rmb him practising at home, rehearsing the parts he made mistakes over n over till he perfect it. My dad is amazaing. He needs only like a few mins to learn to play a song. his love for music is extreme..
i recalled a time when i was playing lacuna coil over my mp3 player n he heard de guitar solo. he came into my room and went: "WOW ~~ nicw threading!! " he den sat dwn on my bed n head bang to de song. lol... its a guitar solo peace by lacuna coil n nightwish called "the ghost between us "
daddy jammed thru his whole life. till dis very day he is still earning a living from it. he now plays at a sleazy place at jalan sultan rd.. n ironically, he got a part time day job. he plays for funerals... lol .... nite time play for humans, day time jams for de dead!! LOLSSS ><
and he has taught me how to appreciate all kinds of music but i selectively listens to them. after i grew up, i got to knw a circle of jammers too. they kip telling me tt de society nw kenot reli except them and its hard to make a living thru jamming. well, although its kinda true, but i oways believe tt dreams come true in ur heart.
if u enjoy what you r doing n u r constantly doing it and enjoy every aspect of it, UR DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE.. JAM~~ JAM~~ JAM~~
its not how ppl look at u to determing ya fantasy but its how much u put effort to fulfill that dream. ppl like hao hao lao gong n his band members are doing it, not for a living but for a dream come true point... and de rest of de ppl like honey n ifran.. they jam for de sake of happiness.....
i tribute all jammers n wish that they will continue to live for de dreamssssss~~~
*PS/ DADDY I LOVE U ... CONTINUE TO JAM... ROCK ON~~
~=+SHYNNA TRIBUTES TO ALL JAMMERS+=~
8/08/2008 01:28:00 pm | Friday, 8 August 2008
~=+ Reunited +=~
Dreams are the desires of the subconscious minds... as i have written b4 in my previous entry.
Several a times ppl often think that dreams do come true.. it only comes true when u have a good foundation. and if you think that the past had been to ugly, then i think its time you can forget n forgo that dumb dream of yours.
i also realise that recently, i got into contact with many of my long lost frens... thanks to facebook.. lol ... and i learnt many juicy gossips too...
Gossip 1) Tan Pei Jing and Peter Ow are a couple... patch back after close to 14yrs of puppy love back then in sec sch...
Gossip 2) haha... its my info... Hao n I have not been in contact for like de past 7yrs... but then, we r still loving after all.. lolss.... ( i shud state that dis is an open book relationship with NO SEX INVOLVE!!) so ppl who r interested in him or me can still make your advancements.. haha^^
Gossip 3) dis is only my speculation but i guess one of my guy fren juz broke off with his gf.... duhs.. i am so kpo..
nevertheless, i am happy that PeiJing and I got united with our so called love ones after so long. and on the contrary, those ppl whom think that they have no chance to reconcile with their so called OLD FLAME can FUCKING MOVE ON~~~ no point lingering over something that is so FUCKING worst situation!!!!
~=+Shynna is reunited with Hao after 7yrs+=~
*ps: open book relationship!! ><
8/06/2008 12:55:00 am | Wednesday, 6 August 2008
~=+ Success Recruit Consultant +=~
OMG... juz de 2nd day attach with success ... i am all burnt OUT~
Day in office busy like one fuck.. nite knock off teach tuition... Dis is de life of shynna LOLITA... nevertheless.. its fun . i love my JOB... and i wore LOLITA BLOUSE TO WORK!!! YESH~~
Lolita in OFFICE... good hor? i nvr throw my culture.. and also, my master tell me tt i am going to get a new tattoo soon. WAHAHAHAHAHA..... YESH~~
Shynna going to get a new tattoo on her back.. wonder how izit like to have a traditional thai tattoo on my back? its going to be traditional way of putting the tattoo also... needles.. nails... ink..... going to love tt process~~
~=+Shynna is getting a new TATTOO+=~
8/03/2008 10:25:00 pm | Sunday, 3 August 2008
~=+ La'Dies +=~
Woots~ finally sunday... rest day... but i guess not.. haha..
Today is La'Dies Acoustic at the red dot museum. ^^ of cos i went to support them. My hao hao lao gong... is must go de lo. ^^
Here is a snap shot i took with my lao pok hp. duhz... resolutions sucks to the core!!
nevertheless.. i had fun. ^^
Erm .. ok la ..
then here is hao hao lao gong...
got feel got feel... he play till got feel. ^^
HAHA.... i actually crop Hao Hao out from the main pic...
this image is so blur... my photoshop skills sucks... cant manage to make it seem clear.
T_T
Hmm...
den after the perfomance of i think only 4 songs. its de end of the acourstic le.
although its short but its fun.
<------ Princess NUALIAN and Prince NUASAI !!! LOLsss.... (inspired by hellboyII princess nuala n prince nuada)
This is not as fun. the fun part will arrive on august 30th. its a saturday. La'Dies and a few other bands will be performing at siloso beach at sentosa. Hao promised me tt he will bring me to play beach volley ball ... juz as i had written in my previous entry tt i wanted to try THE SUNSHINE!! LOLS...
so very looking forward to that day.
ok. as for august 30th performance, its open to all, so frens .. if u all r interested to join me for a saturday of fun, beach, the sun, and watch their perfomance pls PLS sms me, EMAIL ME AT kayumi_80@hotmail.com oso can.
it will be reli fun. performance starts at 6.30pm - abt 11pm plus plus. but before that i think i will be there around like 4plus to play beach volley. COME COME LAI LAI LAI... JOIN ME ~~ ^^
~=+ Shynna n Hao +=~
8/03/2008 03:39:00 am |
Prince Nuada~Amaranth
~=+Prince Nuada~Amaranth+=~
sibei handsome!! plus nightwish song!! MATCH!!!
