Its already the wee hours of the nite and here i am again. Cant sleep. Many things have been going thru my mind and i've been pondering over some things.

Love is juz a four letter word. And it can mean so much when u mean it sincerely.

Somehow i am in Love for quite some time now. I used to think tt it does not exist anymore, however, at this very moment as i am penning this, i feel tt there is still hope.

LOVE is a warm and fuzzy feeling tt send goose bumbs down ur skin.

Love is having a listening ear, knwing tt ur partner will oways be there for u no matter what happens.
Love is being there for ur partner no matter what it takes.

Love is being able to over look ur partner's flaws.

I realise I have become rather submissive now a days. I'm not reli myself at all. Is this the power of love?

The so called overwhelmed by de emotions of this 4 letter word?

Or is it what ppl normally call it blinded by the over empowering sense of belonging?

The enchantment of being wanted?

The witchery of being embodied with the feel of amorousness?

The prcipentancy of feelings that grow within the heart?

The intuition the leads you to romace?

The feelings of exigency?

At the end of the day, i am still keeping these same old words within me.......

When the day comes and i say that i wana die, dun tell me not to. Rather say tt u are willing to die with ME......


Surrealistic Shynna





Argh~~ its so bothering tt i have to put another post... its not de 1st time i decided to up 2 posts in a day... haix.... love sucks. having to knw each other all over again.. having to learn abt each other's DOs and DON'Ts..

As the saying goes : Love is like cotton candy; its sweet when it last but it never LAST LONG... ><

den how to last? how to make it last? Learn to fly kite. when u think tt de kite is falling frm the sky den, its time to pull de strings and make it stay afloat...

when de wind is too strong and ya kite seem to be going to blown away by de bloody wind, i think its time u kip ya kite....

sometimes i feel tt i am not trying hard enuf... sometimes i feel tt i am trying too hard.. its tiring after having some futile conversation wit ... wit ... wit ... haiz.... he dun seem to knw wad i wan... neither do i knw wad he wans...

its oni been barely 2mths.. i so scared tt i might be xainzz.. i spoke to hui on msn juz now. she was surprised tt i actually have a NEW LOVE.

HUI asked: Since when did shynna ever wana be tied dwn?

Shynna reply: Since now lo... since i knw him lo.... since ... i oso dunno since when... T.T

It seems pretty difficult to rebuild this new found feelings. and i am not a person who is easy to get along with set alone..... easy to understand in any sense...

I am oways in my own world .... now someone is flying my kite... and it seems tt he is not flying it de rite way.. makes me xianzzz..... how am i suppose to be blissful in dis way? i am so so so so scared tt de day will come tt i wana conceal all my feelings all over again.... help...

Please fly your kite cautiously... In order to have a blissful MURDER like Died n Doom below... wahahaha!!!








Surrealistic Shynna





*poof*
another meaninglesswk has gone by. busy as usual, broke as usual, dunno y lydat ... haix.. no matter how hard i budget but end up still .. - BROKE -

T.T

De month is ending and soon it will be a begining of a new month.. hmmm~~ hope tt i wont be so broke anymore... argh~~

life is nothing but work work work now.. no life no nothing.. most importantly is no ENTERTAINMENT

DANGER!!!
shynna is on de verge of breaking down!!

normally is everyday drinking.. den due to some reasons, i disappeared frm de lime light.. become once a week drinking... now due to OTHER REASONsS...
NO MORE DRINKING ><

Hmm.... y ? dun ask... sometimes making neccessary sacrifices is good.

and also i hope tt by may i wont be so broke.... sometimes i feel tt i think my tuition kids hv more pocket money den me... ><
wat to do? living on my own suckz... all have to pay on my own... bills... travelling expenses... food~~ erm... i dun reli eat so cut tt out... daily needs - shampoo, shower foam, facial wash... i oredi am using CHEAPO brands to make do wit life... ARGH~~~

I WAN USE BACK KOSE PRODUCTS~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but tt has got to wait... set my priorities right 1st.. save up, own a place i call my own 1st... now juz use cheapo stuff.. ask my face n skin wait a lil more...

Ooo

Shynna kamberimasu~~!!!! yosh~!!



Surrealistic Shynna





Geezz... i've reli been away from tampines for so long and all things seem to have changed... i juz came home frm his hse *ehem.. and i juz finish my shower. juz now went to tabao chicken rice o... den ah... realise de aunty from de stall is no longer there. it took me sometime to realise tt is not de original aunty not there, it is a totally new stall Oo.. new chicken rice stall replaced de old chicken rice stall... *ironic* change owner but sell same thing... but taste not de same o... sad... T.T




Surrealistic Shynna





Alamak... life can never be much simpler dis way man... no internet, no nothing to keep me entertained. i think i am going crazy any moment in my life.... dunno lei... sometimes i reli find it mundane... argh

i dun seem to have much of a choice except to bear wit it and work hard and save up to have a place i call my own.. i am so physically and mentally drained.. maybe cos i dun hv someone whom can reli understand me ... no1 whom i can relate to .... aiyah... i am toking kok... all dis while is i got no ppl to tok to... so WTF am i complaining abt?

not many ppl knw wad is running thru my mind.. i think i shud say is NO1 knws wad i am thinking ALL de time.. maybe i am juz one weird gal. i am begining to feel weary of my surroundings... and at times i reli feel lost ...

i knw tt living in my own world is not healthy at all.. but the thing is at most times when i decide to be open, ppl oways feel tt i am daydreaming and gif me their opinions in which i think is too "normal"...

i oso dunno wad i am toking abt now... juz knw tt i am very bored and lost at dis point of my life... every single step i make has to be super precise... if not i think i will end up having to throw myself out of de fking window to end it once n for all...... eeekkkssss ....

no drinking... no clubbing.... no gaming.... its so unlike me at all and i reli dun like it at all in any sense.... i am so down right bored and screaming out to break free....

can anyone feel me??????????????

~=LOST=~
=~_~=


Surrealistic Shynna





Have not been writing for awhile now... thanks to no excess to de lappy at my ah ma hse.... xianz... living under the hse of another reli sucks to de core.. imagine de agony of having to creep home in the middle of the nite trying not to wake any1 up in de house... luckily there wasn't much of a curfew if not i think i wud hav died long time....

the next thing is that ... i think i am going to break down soon.... haix... maybe i locked up shynna too long in her closet and she juz has to break free. now days is juz plain old Eunice and her aunty ways of living... de stereo typical, i've got a bad hair day ,OMFG.... zzzz when is shynna coming back? i dunno... cos there is someone who seems to kenot accept the excistence of having shynna around...

HELP... shynna is screaming inside me to break free... but each time i have to tell her to wait till i have more free time ON MY OWNnnnnnn....... ><

sometimes is not easy when im dating a NORMAL MAN..... and trying to be normal juz does not seem easy at times... HELP ..... argh argh argggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh~~~~~~~~~~~~

SHYNNA GONE CRAZY..... LOCK UP TOO LONG... HELP...

PLAIN OLD EUNICE SUXXxx..... ><

like it or not ... i hv to be Eunice for de time being .... kenot Lolita.... TMD....

im not complaining u gimme to much restrictions.. im juz hoping tt i can be myself sometimes.. and not oways for de sake of u i have to be Eunice all de time.... T_T


Surrealistic Shynna





Hmm... so long never blog redi.. cos my hse is under upgrading works and i am residing at my ah ma hse and i dun hv access to de lappy. hmmm~~ dis week when i am away from my home, i realise many things and make up my mind over things i've long ago planned.

Previosly i've talked abt an ultimate plan in which my mum had given me de green light. So now, i guess is to reveal my ultimate plan. Its been a week that i came to my senses and make up my mind to move on with life. i no longer wana live in a slump, no longer wana live my life with someone who has no balance in life, no communication and obviously, living in different worlds.

Now, i have alot of new tuition assignments. Am trying to earn back wat i lost in de past few years. i wana earn back my dignity, my life and also most importantly my happiness. so ya, i am going to get a divorce. and dis time i dun wana turn back anymore. i walked so far in life and come to dis point.. he asked me if i and him are still frens after dis, ya i wud say, ya, we r and always we r still n oways will b... he is no other den tachi himself.

there are many reasons that reli force me to leave tachi... maybe afterall dis yrs, we r trying to b together for the sake of being together.. and to dis point i feel that we have reli reli dift apart and he feels the same way. now that he has a new job, new frens, its time i step dwn.. dis wk when i am away from him, i dun feel so stress and tense anymore. i juz wana work hard and earn money, save up and move on wit my life...

tachi ask if i will hate him? my ans is NO. and also at the same time i hope that in return he wont hate me. i juz wan de outcome to be the better for the both of us in de future. he can concentrate on his work and i can work hard for de sake of my daughter princesss.....

now all i can say is, all de best for de both of us. now is de exam period and i am rather busy with teaching my kids, so i will go and plan and workout everything when de exams are over. and i think if we both can come to terms and by dec, we can go on our seperate ways and move on for a better future...

no hard feelings... GAMBATTE.... our once so fav song....




Surrealistic Shynna





Having gone past a normal and busy weekend with my princess fallen sick and me at wits ends.... Due to de darn hot weather and contradictingly rainy at the same time causing everyone to fall sick.

Abound to so many things and having to think and come up with solutions for the current mind cracking situation. i feel so tied up and cant concentrate on many things.

Well, still ok i manage to get myself a new hair perm n colour... haha ^^ still not bad although i do not like de current colour at all... reminds me of mana in dis pic which i uploaded... geeezzz... juz tt my hair is not so long and wavy. i've gotten back princess hair instead of the toshiya hair in which i initially wanted to have.... wads wrong wit having toshiya hair?? not bad wad....

i used to have toshiya hair... and its ok ma.. i dun look like a freak but dunno y... some one told me tt i juz shud not have it and shud have princess hair instead.

OK, .... this is wad princess hair looks like..

THIS IS TOSHIYA HAIR.... DOES IT LOOK THAT BAD????

>.<

SEE LA.... NOW LOOK LIKE THOSE CALL GALS POSTER GAL.....

ZA DAO DE LO... !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And anyway, tmr will be my 1st day at my ah hse to stay for like ... i think 10days or so till de reno at my hse is done... so no msn no maple no internet for de next 10days.... i wonder how am i going to survive the ordeal... but better den having to endure the drilling noise and de dust and not to mention de hassle of having to share public makeshift toilets to shower and douse laundry...

and also my wkend was spent in a tired an restless way.... hope that next wkend can be more fulfilling... cos i'm going to JB .. =^_^=

nitey all... hitting de quaters...

Surrealistic Shynna





OMG...... i juz recieved a letter from HDB stating that my place will be having an upgrading works from 7/03/2008 to 17/03/2008 .... OMG OMG OMFFFFGGGGGGG..........

Y am i so worked up? cos i kenot stand NOISE and most importantly i kenot stand DUST !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and de worst thing is i;ve got a toilet issue.... yesh !! TOILET ISSUE.... so ah, de thing is when de reno works are going on, there be no electricity and NO WATER..... majiam my hse condition of water is still not bad enuf.. and de BEST thing is tt the HDB actually have a makeshift toilet on every floor so tt during de reno, residence can use the make shift toilet outside de hse... and oso they gif makeshift toilets at de VOID DECKS for BATHING...... imagine de que .... muz share wit so MANY RESIDENCE FROM BLK 90 - 95 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so... i've decided.. during these 10days, i wont be at my home at all. i need a proper place to stay.. i am going to my ah ma hse to stay. n de strict rules of the hse is NO SMOKING AND NO GUESTS......

bobian la... have to oblige to them since i wana live in comfort. so hor, for 10days suffer lo. going out oso mafan cos they lock their doors at 11.30pm or so... haix... i be rotting... mei ban fa......

till den ..... haix... life wit it !!!!!!!!!!!!!


Surrealistic Shynna