2/13/2009 02:02:00 am | Friday 13 February 2009
~=+ Long Time No Blog +=~
Its been a long time since i last blogged... sians...
2009 shud be a better yr i thought ... but everything is still de same ... slog slog slog like there is no tmr but still as broke as ever ...
think think think n the world still has to go round. i lost a few bastards in my life. n now my life is nothing but wrk n go home.
decided to quit partying for now .. reli feel so fucked up at times when u finally realise tt those ppl whom i tend to cherish r those who im trying to avoid nw...
lucky still got kit n chan wit me to kip my life worth while .. haha ^^ n neverthe less .... 8 letters 3words 1 meaning is still lingering in my head. although its already going to be a yr ... march 5th will mark the day when i almost fell into the pool last yr .. ahaha ~~ long story ..
since he has already removed his blogger n does not wan me to be in his life any longer ... i tot that i have moved on but ... i dunno ... dis strugle . maybe the fact that i never did love b4 n when i finally found something too gd to be true, i jumped str8 in witout even thinking wat is waiting for me on the other side.
life is never fair. never was, never is. never will be. try to win my heart now .. but i can tell u, wat r the chances? its so slim till its like totally no chance at all ... xians to de core ... cant help but have dis feeling.
though now is attach .. but got bf n no bf makes no diff, no spark no surprises.. i dun even feel my heart beat at all.. 2009 a new yr a new begining ... this is wat he told me when he hugged me so tight ... lets start all over again ... i looked back into his eyes ... n i was only happy for that moment ... cos watever that lies ahead has no meaning to it.
i will never remarry again .. n never have a chance to have anymore kids in my life despite the face that i love to have 3 kids... now i only have nicole, n if i continue to be wit him, there will be no chances of having anymore .... cos .... its anther tale to tell ...
i feel so fucked up that i have to pen this fucking long entry ... cos i knw the future for me is like last time .. no change .. juz slog. back to the slumps... back to the days i spend endless nites on the net gaming n toking to strangers ... back to the days where i work n be broke ... back to be all alone ...
no love ... cant feel it ... simply cant feel not even a pinch of it at al...
can someone advise me ?
no ... i dun think so ... or sad to say ... i dun need anyone at all ...
~=+Shynna loves the silence of being alone+=~
Surrealistic Shynna
