11/16/2008 10:25:00 pm | Sunday 16 November 2008
~=+ The Ever Searching Shynna +=~
Time flies.... its yet another 2008 going to past soon....
and still i stand here, ever searching... i dunno what i'm looking for... rather aimless.. work for de sake of living my days... having to fulfill my drinking pleasure.. when will it ever end? when will that deep void be filled up?
sometimes, i reli feel that i am juz so hollow and empty... i trust the wrong ppl.. and ppl took my trust for granted...
i dun wana grow up... but, its juz part of life... will he ever forgive me n let me die together with him like what we had once planned??
no one knws.... i juz wana turn back time.. hoping that none of all this rubbish had ever happen.. wishing that i had never made de wrong choice again....
tell me what am i suppose to do to make him ever trust me again.... its all so hard.. i am still looking for the right answers ,, but who or what can give them to me?
i wana release myself from all these misery.. but what muz i do to move on? how am i suppose to forget all the things that i have done when everything is my freaking fault? i juz wan him to forgive me... i wan him to knw how sorry i felt for all these episodes... and i wan him to knw that i am always here... always here to protect him...
everyday is a living hell to me.... its empty and worthless.... only the day when he can put everything behind and hold me in his arms again... will only be the day i can wake up and never be a living dead anymore.....
i wana feel my heart beat.... i wana feel it again... he is so near to me and yet so far,, de barrier... de distance.... its all my fault..... how can i ever make him understand how stupid i feel inside of me?
what am i suppose to do? i am ever searching......
no one can ever heal me.... no one can ever reach into my darkness ever again...
my days are numbered,,, there are limitations coming my way.... i feel tired... i wana gif up and i guess.... the time is soon...... 
~=+Shynna is ever searching+=~
