8/27/2008 04:10:00 pm | Wednesday 27 August 2008
~=+ Eating Disorder +=~
Anorixia nervosa, Bullimia nervosa.. over eating.. purging.. binge.. not eating.. these are disorders which can kill... eats you up slowly from the inside.. it becomes a cycle. a never ending cycle..
and this is what you will become in the long run..
<----- nothing but a heap of bones...
although many ppl knw the consequences of this disorder, but many a times, they will still resort to it to loose the extra amount of weight.. 
Most of the time, the victim does not knw that she has already gone below a healthy weight, she often sees herself in the mirror as someone who is too fat..
but in actual fact, she is skinny to the bones.
most ppl purge, so call force themselves to throw up..
till it becomes a cycle. they tend to eat alot of greens and most times drink alot of coffee and smoke alot..
begining to sound more n more like the symptoms that i am having.. i dun even remember when was the last time i had a proper meal..
i cant eat.. i force myself to do so but oways end up in a vomiting frenzy..
I DID NOT FORCE MYSELF TO VOMIT..
I VOMIT cos I FEEL VERY SICK INSIDE.....
maybe i am reli sick inside... sick in the head perhaps.. 
well...
i did suffer from something like that before which was 10yrs ago... i puke all the time.. slowly i recovered from it..
now its like a relaspe..
last time when i puke i feel scared that i might die... but now when i puke.... inside... i feel great having to puke out everything... OMG...
shynna is reli mad....
hmm~
i ask myself what is the reason that i cant eat, i dunno... i juz feel better when i dun...
what is de reason i cant slp... maybe i juz hate facing a a new day... i ask myself again.. izit cos i miss him so much..... i cant seem to be able to answer that qns myself... geezzzzzz.....
how long can my body endure this kinda vomiting episodes?
how long can my mind take all these emptiness??
perhaps after i become a heap of bones then it will be enuf..
perhaps if someone comes along and is willing to take care of me all over again then will be enuf...
perhaps i need another creature n not long for that creature whom has flown away...
perhaps... perhaps...
anorexic or bullimic... i have it anyway.. i dun care if it kills me... i dun care if it eats me up inside.... its oways better than having the darkness to swallow me up ... i let this sickness take over my body ...
~=+ SHYNNA HAS EATING DISORDER +=~
